The incidentPolishCA
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A bald man with a curled ginger mustache and a tweed jacket, looking unimpressed
$BALDPHIL

Less hair. New name. Same mustache.

He nuked the chart, disappeared, and somehow came back with less hair. Losing it all clearly started at the top.

Polish the headFollow on X
Hairs: 0Mustaches: 1
Exhibit A · the incident

It started with the hair.

First the chart went. Then everything north of the eyebrows.

Nobody knows where he was. He came back smoother, calmer, and answering to a different name. The mustache refused to leave.

Chart vs. hairScale: tragic
NUKE
ChartHair
He sits in a leather armchair by a fireplace with a glass, lake and mountains behind himCurrent status: unbothered
Maintenance

Polish the head.

Rub the dome with the cloth until it can be seen from orbit.

Dull0% shine
Where is he now

Things he does instead of hair.

Him riding a hairless pink bull that has his face and mustache

Rides the bull

The bull is also bald. They do not discuss it.

Him flexing enormous arms inside the tweed suit

Lifts in tweed

The suit stays on. The suit always stays on.

Him in a mid-air ballet leap, tie flying

Ballet, apparently

Aerodynamic now. Less drag up top.

Him polishing the pink bull's forehead with a velvet cloth

Polishes the bull

Daily. With velvet. Eye contact the whole time.